Where’s the Love?

If you’re a guy like me, there are probably many humorous images or past examples that you can point to when you hear the words, “Where’s the love?” We use this expression in a number of different situations. It can be used when you make a sarcastic, albeit timely, comment that is under appreciated, or when you accomplish something significant in the presence of your friends that you think deserves commendation that isn’t given. It is at that point that you subtlety help your friends try to appreciate what they are clearly not appreciating by saying, “Where’s the love?”

All kidding aside, these are the last words you want to hear in the family context. What this means that is we need to learn how to love our spouses and our children. You’ve probably heard of the Five Love Languages. This is how they look in my family.

My wife’s love language is acts of service. The interesting thing about acts of service is that it manifests in so many different ways, from the minuscule to the magnificent. From her perspective, it simply denotes teamwork and gives her a sense of connectedness. I have to keep reminding myself of that. It gives her a sense of being appreciated when I invest time in doing things that are important to her. This is her way of feeling loved.

My son’s love languages are words of affirmation and quality time. There is a significant change in his attitude, a willingness to please, and an overall disposition change when he is being encouraged. Quality time also ranks right up there, so long as the time is free of instruction or teaching. I’m still learning that there is time for practice and instruction and I have to remember how to separate the two so that we can just hang out and enjoy each other’s company.

One of my daughter’s love languages is quality time. We have a nightly routine after our devotional where we spend focused time talking, acting out various characters that we’ve created over the years, and just spending time together. These are very precious, creative times of bonding. Her other love language is receiving gifts. She loves to receive pretty much anything with sugar.

The point is this. God exhibited no restraint in order to demonstrate His love towards us (Rom.5:1). His actions were purposeful, awful, and extreme in order that man might not question His love, His loyalty, or His commitment to him. The giving of His beloved Son to be a sacrifice for our sins was motived by love. If God is willing to do this for us, shouldn’t we also seek to understand how we might love those around us? What sacrifices of time, effort, or gifts are too much to show those whom God has given us that they are loved? Show your family that you love them, for they are a gift from God!



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